Posted by: alqamardesigns | February 7, 2008

Tips for those looking to get married

Not everyone is fortunate to have family to help them in their pursuit. Problems such as families having limited contacts or having no family at all can hinder the search. Whatever the situation, the quest to find your life partner is daunting and one of the most important decisions in life.


Here are a few tips for those looking to get married, but finding it difficult due to personal circumstances.

1) Know yourself. Be realistic about your goals in life. What are your values? What are you looking for? Wanting a practising spouse when you yourself don’t pray regularly isn’t being reasonable. Remember it is still important to keep family on board. If they want you to marry from a particular background, try not to go against their wishes. This ensures the marriage starts off harmoniously.

2) Mix in the right circles. Sisters wanting good brothers, and vice versa, should attend gatherings that will help them expand their contact base. They can help put the word out and start off any enquiries. If they know you then they will have a better idea as to who will be suitable. It’s all about contacts.

3) Start early. These things take time. Years can be spent finding the right person. Ask others for advice and don’t rush things. Just because a lot of time has passed, doesn’t mean you let your standards drop. Check them out thoroughly.

4) Do your research. Be prepared to change your needs by prioritising what’s important to you. Does he have to own his house? Does she have to be of fair complexion? If he’s able to rent and she’s of good character, aren’t these sufficient? Ask probing questions, does the brother attend the congregational prayer regularly? Does the sister attend study circles? This ensures a certain level of compatibility is met and expectations realised.

5) Don’t despair make du’a. This is the most important point. Be optimistic and put your reliance in Allah that whatever is in your best interest will happen. Make sincere du’a from your heart; especially at the prescribed times such as in your sujood that Allah makes it easy for you.

At the end of the day, if you have taken all these positive steps and exhausted all avenues and it seems nothing is happening, have patience. Then have some more patience. When Allah destines it, it will happen.

By A Sister in Islam 


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